Oh Martha…..

Today on the Facebook, this was making the rounds amongst some friends because, as you enter your forties, you might have a tendency to look at others definitions of ‘punk’ when you know yours is the only, true, authority. Now, really…I was probably always more indie rock than punk, choosing the likes of Superchunk and waiting patiently for my K catalogs than thrashing in a pit, but look….I know my way around a Propaghandi tape and an Avail record so simmer down….

Before I begin with my objections, first let me say- I think the Ramones make perfectly fine music for kids to listen to. Blondie? Yes. I was carrying around my AM radio that came with a pair of Buster Brown shoes to catch The Tide is High whenever it came on when I was 5 years old.

But let’s look at the invites. Any old rocker worth their salt would know that this step should be photocopied. Ideally at a Kinko’s at 2:30 am after you’ve stayed up too late nursing all the coffee your bladder can hold at the Denny’s.

The next thing I’m entirely unclear on- the decorations. Martha shows what look to be award ribbons made out of various patterns of tartans…..each adorned with a kilt pin so…..maybe Martha thinks Punk = Scottish? Then she should have a few mentions of The Skids or even Josef K.

Then, of course we go into hair colors and fake tattoos- although curiously enough, no mention of Manic Panic which is what everyone’s first forray into pink/blue/purple/green hair after their first visit to Zipperhead.  So that I have no problem with….the next part however….

When we get to punk’n crafts. and food…I know it’s October but aside from the Misfits, halloween and punk don’t have  a *whole* lot of crossover…I mean, i guess there are skulls….in both? But then why not make it look like the Misfits logo skull

And then we’re back to music…which…great. Actually. I think kids should be listening to that kind of stuff as opposed to Wiggles-y crap. It’s a win-win for everyone….EXCEPT…..look at those delicious fondant-covered cupcakes….FIrst….WHAT FOUR YEAR OLD LIKES FONDANT? No one likes fondant. No one. And to say nothing of the lyrics which appear to be of an Earth Wind and Fire song on one of them which…..Martha…..They’re funk….not punk….